A reason for hesitation

The man, despite his strength, power, and insignificance... is dominant... he is the guardian of the woman... his guardian... he precedes her in martyrdom... in inheritance... and in consideration... an emperor over her house, ruling over it and honoring it. He humiliates and destroys him, if he wishes, with a word from his mouth.. But he knows that all this power and sovereignty is mythical.. and that he is a conquering emperor over an imaginary state of playing cards.. He needs a woman no matter what he does.. and this need trims his nails, removes his fangs, tames his brutality, and returns him meek. He is submissive, obedient, tender on his wife’s chest... What is the benefit of the morning, the screaming, the roaring and the roaring... while the heart inside is scratching like a cat... He needs the woman to build love... He needs her to build a house... He needs her to be the head of a family... And he He realizes this weakness in himself... and resists it... and tries to get rid of it... so he takes a woman as a colleague, friend, lover, or mistress... and avoids falling into the trap of marriage so that his need does not become the character of his entire life... he avoids falling into constant need... by falling In a temporary need, it is satisfied from time to time... with a word or a promise of love... or a kiss... or an hour in bed... then each one of us goes to his own state... without hope... without disappointment... and fear. Fear alone is what makes him hesitate. He delays his marriage year after year... fear of his weakness... fear for his strength... fear for his illusions... fear that he will not find sincerity... fear that his house will be built on a lie... and what is there more heinous than lies... and what is there more heinous than lies? That his wife would betray him... and give him children from others... and what could be more heinous than being the head of an alleged family... and an irrelevant husband... and why bother... dying in celibacy and solitude is better and truer than a nominal marriage... and the woman realizes this in herself Power... it is the only one that can make a house... it is the only one that has a womb that gives birth to children... its good and evil create the reality of the house... as for the man, his mistakes are verbal and leave no trace... and yet he is responsible... he is the one who works and toils. He spends and carries her worries...and also carries her shame...for society erases her mistakes when she makes mistakes...and calls him deficient in manhood...and she is free...with the blink of an eye...and an emergency whim and a half-hour walk under the pretext of a seamstress, hairdresser, or dentist...she can To return pregnant with a child whose origin is unknown... She alone is the one who shapes the reality of the house as she wishes... by telling the truth or lying... by what is forbidden or by what is permissible... and the man alone is the one who pays the full price, whether he is satisfied or not. Marriage is a risk that requires a man to have all his courage. A man sacrifices his freedom and peace of mind in order to establish a home whose fate he does not know. His only consolation is this mythical claim that he will become a lord, a master, and the caretaker of a family, while in reality he will become a slave. For a thousand needs and needs... and a thousand requests and demands and a servant for the youngest member of this family... and that is why a man hesitates to marry... not because he is smart... and not because he is an advisor... but because he knows that he will be disappointed... and because he does not want to celebrate his disappointment... and if the generation... The old girls had the scruples of religion and traditions that protected them from missteps and betrayal... and made them a generation competent to bear the responsibility of the home in a way that reassured the man... The new generation is a generation frenzied with freedom, busy searching for its rights and pleasures before searching for its duties... and the new girl speaks for her rights. In adventure... and her right to have a friend and a lover... and her right to stay up late, and to dance, and to invite men to her home... and her only virtue... the virtue of love and choosing a husband... an anxious and confused virtue... as she is still floundering between her love for a man... She does not marry him...and her marriage is to a man she does not love...and she is at the decisive moment...the moment of choosing a husband...she doubts herself...and her choice...and her love...and she does not know...whether she chose this particular man because she truly loves him... Or was she, in fact, fed up with the restrictions in her father’s house and wanted to escape these restrictions through any ring offered to her by any man? Or was she fed up with her spinsterhood, fearing perdition, and fearing that she would miss the train? So she clung to whatever carriage that chance brought her... and all this confusion was getting worse. It becomes clear after marriage...and the man must face this confusion...and marry this confusion...and mortgage his fate on this bankrupt bank that is not confident in his emotions...and this is the plight of the man...the so-called emperor...and the new girl reassures the man that she will work, struggle and earn like him to share with him. In pension...but the truth is that the fifty pounds that a struggling woman earns is spent on herself as the price of lipstick, dresses and transportation...and the house remains in need of a cook, a maid, a wet nurse and a nanny...because the struggling woman goes out in the morning and does not return until the evening...and if she returns at noon, she She is exhausted and is only suitable for sleeping. After waking up, she must be entertained, of course, because she is a struggle. The hesitation of the modern man in the face of marriage, then, is not cleverness. It is not foolishness. Rather, it is a real distress. And the girls around him make him feel this distress more one day. After another... and they shake the ground under his feet... the ground on which he wants to build his house... This does not mean that all women are traitors... no, not at all... virtue is still dominant... but it is a confused, confused virtue, unsure of itself... It transmits its infection to the man, so he loses security and loses confidence as well. The years of youth pass quickly, and the man’s dreams of marriage and stability diminish. At the age of thirty, he dreams of a beautiful, charming, educated wife from a respectable family. But hesitation causes him to miss one opportunity after another... until... He reaches forty... and loses the arrogance of youth, so he gives up his requirements... and is humble in his dreams... and it is enough for him at this age to find a girl with acceptable appearance... from a conservative family that values married life... If he gets older than this, he is looking for a girl with her A shame to be satisfied with. The hero of the novel “Two Faces in a Woman” is an elderly teacher who is looking for an ugly girl, out of humility, and he is happy when he finds Marie-Josie. . The spinster worker who missed the wedding train... and whose face is crowned with a nose as large as Cyrano de Bergerac's - drives the grooms a kilometer away... and he is more happy when he discovers that she is quiet and meek... she does not like staying up late, dancing, or mingling with young men... and he marries her and has children with her. He has two sons and lives happily...but coincidence leads to a plastic surgeon on the way home...and the wife undergoes surgery to reduce her nose...and turns into a charming woman who is courted by men...and the paradise of the house turns into hell at the same time...the meek and quiet wife who did not like staying up late... Nor mingling with young men. She began to die of staying up late and mingling with young men. In the end, she was thrown into the arms of her lover to betray her husband. Her virtue had evaporated. It was not virtue. It was a shaky shadow of an ugly, distorted face. She was the confusion of a woman who was neither confident nor confident in herself. From her emotions... and the man is destroyed... and the house is destroyed... and this man contains the fears of every man... and his anxiety and torment... and his search for reassurance in a shaky generation... and his willingness to pay any price for this reassurance... even marrying an ugly spinster... The trap that caught this man was not the lipstick or the eyeliner. Rather, it was the feeling that crept into his heart that this woman alone would be his comfort and reassurance. This is every man’s problem. In reality, the man is not an emperor and is not the head of his family, but he is a slave to this woman. The family and a servant for the smallest member in it.. A servant who only asks for safety and reassurance at the highest price.. From a book on love and life by the writer Mustafa Mahmoud